Watching My Parents Watch: Skyfall

Dad:The Eye! Remember the Eye? Remember this bridge? We walked on this bridge — up and around.
:(gun shots)
Mom:Lower it.
Dad:What’d he say?
:(Three minutes to figure out the remote, then rewinds back four scenes)
Mom:What’d he say?
Dad:What’s he doing? That was the bullet that was still in there? Or his microchip? Bullet fragments?
Mom:Hmm.
Dad:What were they, Nik?
Mom:They were microchips. Or those rice chips.
Dad:“Don’t cock it up?” Is that supposed to be ‘don’t dick it up?’ Why don’t they just say ‘Don’t shag it up?’
Mom:Hmm.
Dad:Let’s see, it’s nighttime and the only person wearing sunglasses in the airport is him. Not too obvious.
Dad:Now he’s got a gun in his hand. It’s spooky with all the glass and colors. Is it just an empty loft?
Dad:Cut a hole in a bigass piece of glass.
Dad:Who’s got who?
Dad:He dead.
Dad:Ma-caw! Isn’t there a bird called a Macaw?
Dad:Okay, who’s steering the boat?
Mom:Nice try, bitch.
Mom:What the hell was that?
Dad:A kimono dragon.
Mom:That’s the Black girl that shot him, right?
Dad:Nope. That’s the Asian girl that shot him.
Mom:God, I wish they’d talk English.
Mom/Dad:Hmm.
Dad:Remember, the Macallan?
Mom/Dad:Ohhh.
Mom:Yeah, he’s creepy.
Mom:Is there another Bond after this?
--:They haven’t made it yet.
Mom:Oh. Why not?
Dad:How’d he miss?
Mom:Oh Jesus.
Dad:That train was empty.
Mom:Except for that poor woman in front.
Dad:AH, the old Aston Martin! And classic guitar!
Dad:He’s not pissing is he? Or is he out of gas?
Mom:He’s looking at the scenery.
Dad:It’s where he used to live.
Dad:Skyfall.
Dad:Dynamite.
Mom:It’s a whole army. And they only have those two guns, huh?
Dad:Aw, that poor car’s gonna get shattered.
Dad:A helicopter with bombs? They’re gonna saw the building in half and it’s probably gonna fall down.
Mom:Now he’s pissed.
Dad:That was a lake? Who’s on top? Strangled him with the back his leg?
Dad:Where you goin’?
Dad:What the hell was that? With the knife? Oh.
Mom:Damn it to hell.
Dad:He’s not even wet.
Dad:Wait, wasn’t she just hit in the hand?
Mom:I think she was hit in the side.
Dad:Oh, now she dead.
Mom:Well, that’s one way to leave the agency.
Dad:Well, that’s one way to write yourself out of a movie. So the bad guy won. Oh, c’mon, she’s gonna make a recovery.
Dad:Maybe not, if the flags are at half-mast.
Dad:Is it the dog? Yep.
Dad:How do you like that? Padded door.