The Collected Early Works of Nikki Palumbo: A Month's Worth of First Thoughts

Fuck. Shower.


Idea: Alarm connected to Facebook. Every time you hit snooze, something embarrassing is posted to your page.

No one I know in California would be enough of a dick to be calling me right now.

Why am I still wearing pants?

Bullshit snow.

Am I wearing sunglasses?

something incomprehensible in Italian

School of Bitchcraft and Misandry

[Hands in surrender] Fine, fine, I’m coming. No need to yell.

They call him Flipper, Flipper.

Idea: A closet organizer that’s person-shaped.

Why am I awake?

Dead arm!

I know why the caged bird can’t stand his neighbor.

Fuck. Shower.

I feel like Baby Beluga.

Did I finish the Sons finale? I think I did. Wait, no?


Are you there, Macbook Pro? It’s me, Nikki.

8, please be a 7.

Sunrise Squalor

Wisconsin looks like a fried cheese nugget.

Fuck. Shower.

Why am I still wearing pants?


Go ‘head girl, go ‘head, get down.

And this bed is juuuust right.

I dreamt of Genie. And Jasmine.

*The laugh track from The Big Bang Theory*

New year, new ____.