Progress Report No. NP025

Another year, another set of resolutions to be accountable for:

  • Of the ten pounds I was supposed to lose, I’m holding steady at the now fifteen pounds I’m supposed to lose.
  • Of the 52 books I set out to read, I’m holding steady at 67.
  • I completed 6 of ~45,000 attempted writing projects.
  • I’ve reviewed enough Italian to finally get cracking on a new food project with my Nana. Hopefully, now I’ll stop passing her the salt when she’s actually asking for me to stop touching things.
  • I know more than just numbers and apple in German. Next lesson: learn how to yell at someone for eating my cookies.

On more of a I’m-in-my-mid-twenties note, I:

  • compiled a timeline of everything I need to do in order to apply for Italian dual citizenship — for three people;
  • figured out my health insurance once I age out of my dad’s plan in two weeks;
  • purchased 2 (2!) sets of bedsheets;
  • quit smoking three times before it stuck;
  • graduated from a pediatrician to a big girl doctor (don’t worry, I already had a lady mechanic);
  • finally told my parents they’re gay;
  • half-planned a trip to NOLA in February;
  • and, only played Candy Box for an hour yesterday.

Adulting so hard motherfuckers wanna find me and offer me a no-interest mortgage.