My sister's phone was stolen last night. Mom thought she could help.

Mom:Hey, I made your sister blinged out can phones. Didn't give them to her yet.
Mom:Do you want a pair, in case yours gets stolen.
Mom:You have to use rocks to text.
Me:What is wrong with you?
Mom:Stop asking. You're going to make me think there is.
...
Mom:Wanna pair?
Me:No, you jackwagon.
Mom:Oh, you say that now. Wait until you have nothing.