Everyday, I congratulate myself for teaching my mom how to text.

Mom:Okay, so I'm at the drive-thru at the bank and it's pretty packed. And some guy is cursing so much I think he's gonna kill someone.
Mom:Probably inside is just as crazy, but I'm safer with my doors locked.
Mom:I'm behind black people with no ID.
Me:Are they in the "whites only" lane, too?
Mom:And the guy freakin' unfortunately has a gun trooper. And the black people want a $300 check in 5s and 1s. Yeesh.
Mom:I'm in the big fat asshole lane.
Mom:Omg, this is insane. A friggin' monkey must be working.
Mom:Still stuck behind the black people who don't know where the hell they came from. Now I'm pissed.